|This WILL be me on Christmas Day|
|This definitely WILL NOT be me on Christmas Day|
What are your plans for Christmas Day? Will you be lounging on the sofa in silk pyjamas with a glass of bucks fizz? Or will you be madly dashing around like the rather controversial "Asda mum" - selflessly tending to others without a thought for your own needs, with barely time to scoff a solitary mince pie?
Well this year I intend to be the former. I've had a few Christmas's now of getting up at 6am to deal with the unpleasant, goosepimply, e-coli fest that is the Christmas Turkey. I've also had mad last minute dashes to the shops to get presents, attempted to wrap gifts with blu-tack after running out of sellotape and strived to achieve unattainable perfection by making everything from scratch. Not this year though.
This year I'm going to be a little bit lazy and a little bit selfish. I actually want to enjoy Christmas Day. Firstly it's out with the turkey and in with a turkey crown. Not only that but it's a turkey crown that comes in it's own tray so that I don't even have to do any washing up afterwards - so there!
I'm also not even going to attempt to do a Nigella and look fabulous whilst cooking everything from scratch - it just can't be done without lots of money, a make up artist, and soft focus camera work. Sadly I have none of these available to me so I have headed down to M&S and brought some very delicious looking ready made goods that mean I will not have to spend all morning in the kitchen and I will not end up smelling faintly of Brussels sprouts.
I also have the presents under control. The year before last that is now forever known as "Black Christmas" my husband saw fit to buy me some silicone bakeware and a box of Costco chocolates. And this was after many subtle and not so subtle hints that I actually wanted jewellery. To say I was unhappy is an understatement. He is lovely but he does always get very stressed about what to buy me, so this year I have taken pity and ensured a perfect day by writing him a detailed gift list - complete with stores and websites.
This year Christmas is also going to be stress-free because for lunch it will be just me, my husband and the children. We did invite the in-laws down but they replied with the mysterious phrase "we would prefer not to". Fair enough - maybe it's the tantruming toddler or the thought of having to watch Thomas The Tank Engine over and over again - but it has certainly made my life easier having no-one to entertain and I'm actually really looking forward to being able to lounge around in my pj's with no one to impress.
My final plan for the perfect day is to take the children out for a really, really, really long walk after lunch. Hopefully this should burn off all the haribo induced excess energy and mean that they are tucked up in bed by 7pm.
By 8pm I full intend to be sat on the sofa with a Baileys and a
plate of mince pie watching Eastenders.